Living Through the Pros and Cons of Moving in Together
For a few months now my boyfriend and I had been having serious discussions about moving in together. In lots of ways it only made sense. We have been dating for over two years now and probably, when schedules allow, will think about getting married. Also we spend so much time at one another's places it seems silly for him to pay a $1,000 in rent and for me to do the same when we could just combine households and save a ton of money. It would also, we figured, be a good experiment. A trial marriage if you like. If thing really did not work out the at least we could part without the hassle and expense of divorce lawyers.
Two weeks ago we made the move. Deciding whose apartment to keep had been the first challenge. Both are in decent neighborhoods and both are reasonably good commutes. In the end we opted for his as it is a little bigger and his brother, with whom he is close lives nearby and being far away from my own family I know how nice that must be. It does mean a longer commute for me but not be too much, about ten minutes.
That, as I have since discovered was just the first compromise I had to make and to be honest, some have been easier to deal with than others. Getting rid of my couch because there was no room for it was no big deal, it was old anyway. Not having my band posters hanging in my bedroom anymore was tougher, I have has them since college, but then again it is no longer just my bedroom now and sharing a bathroom - don't get me started on that, that is still an issue!
People told me that the relationship would change once we moved in together and they were certainly right. We have probably had more niggling little arguments over the last two weeks than we have in the last two years. Rows over stupid things like whose shower curtain gets put up in the bathroom and who gets what side of the closet. Rows over my (admitted) occasional untidiness and his annoying habit of flipping channels in the middle of a TV program 'just to see something real quick.'
On the flip side we may have also had more fun in the last few weeks than ever before as well. When you are dating someone in some ways you are always on your guard. In two years I have never allowed to be around my boyfriend without at least a little makeup on. I don't have the time or opportunity to stick to that rule and more. And it has been very freeing and no, he did not shy away from my naked face as I had feared but said he preferred the look instead. I found out that he is actually kind of scared of the dark and certainly petrified of spiders, two things that oddly enough make him a little more endearing to me, and not as stiff as he used to seem (which he could sometimes)
If I were asked to advise others who are thinking about making that big leap all I could say is yes, they were right things will change. And it will be hard at times. But, if you are in a relationship for the long haul then it is a great way to move it to the next level and maybe discover if you really were 'made for each other' after all.